Using Sex Against Your Partner

Published by Rebecca Sinclair on August 25th, 2010

communication, dynamic, marriage, mean, relationship, sex, sexual weaponry, trust - By Rebecca Sinclair on Wednesday, August 25, 2010 - 14:02

There is a difference between not enjoying sex with your partner and making it obvious that you are not enjoying it. One is a common problem, and the other is an example of sexual weaponry.

Lack of sexual fulfillment or interest

If one partner is lacking sex drive, having a difficult time reaching orgasm, or for some reason just not making time for sex… this can be a temporary and fixable problem. With a quick talk to a doctor, adding some new positions or toys, or just waiting until the hectic schedule calms down, a couple can find themselves reintegrated quickly.

Letting the partner know

The difference between a lack of desire and a hateful display of disregard is usually in the words one partner tells the other when approaching sex.

You have a problem, for example, if any of the following is commonplace:

  • “You just don’t do it for me anymore.”
  • “My ex just did it better.”
  • “I just wish your ‘A’ was smaller, ‘B’ was bigger, or ‘C’ was rounder.”

These are sure-fire signs that sex is being used as a destructive weapon… knowingly or not.

What to do

If you are hurt by something your partner is saying or doing, talk to them. Let them know the specifics of what is frustrating you and talk it out. By bringing the problem up for discussion, if they continue to use sex against you, you know that they are using it as a weapon. Armed with that information you can then decide what, if anything, you want to do about it.

Conclusion

As we have gone through several forms of sexual weaponry over the last week, I am curious as to whether you have found yourself in any of these scenarios. And, if so, what are you doing about it? Lots of long-term relationships are lost over sexual weaponry whether or not the lovers know that they are in the middle of the battle. Knowing the signs and actually taking the time to talk through the issues could make the difference between a relationship succeeding or failing.

Photo by: Fabio Venni