There Is No Expiration Date On Desire

aging, better sex over 50, intercourse, post menopause, sex - By Brandie on Friday, November 12, 2010 - 15:41

 

Tip # 1: Lubrication

As they age, women often find a decreased level of natural vaginal lubrication during arousal. This is particularly true for women who are post-menopausal. After menopause, their vaginas are also often less flexible than they were during younger years. For women of any age, having insufficient lubrication during intercourse causes intense discomfort and even severe pain. For older adults, it is often necessary to introduce a water-based personal lubricant to lovemaking. In this way, vaginal dryness is alleviated, and intercourse is much more pleasurable. Men can use the lubricant as well, for additional stimulation and ease of penetration.

Tip # 2: Stress-Free Sex Positions

There may be occasions when sexual positions that were once favored when you were younger are not as comfortable for you now. In this case, it’s good to have a few new positions to rely on so sexual connectivity with your partner is not interrupted. The best positions for intercourse are ones that do not put undue stress on your muscles or joints are the ones where both partners are lying on their sides. If both partners face each other on their sides, the intimacy is still maintained, and you can look each other in the eyes. Another suggestion is to “spoon.” Here, the man enters from behind, while both partners are lying on their sides.

Tip # 3: Communication

No matter what your age, open communication is key to a healthy sexual relationship. Perhaps this is even truer for older adults. By discussing sexual issues with your partner as they arise fewer misunderstandings will occur. For example, one partner may feel pain during sex due to arthritis or some other physical ailment. His or her interest seems to be waning, and the other partner may feel rejected. Without effective communication, this small misunderstanding can weaken or even destroy a relationship. Communicating with your partner about what you want and what you do not want in a clear and positive way is arguably the most important part of a healthy sexual relationship.

Tip # 4: Setting The Mood

No one can dispute the importance of taking time to seduce your lover, regardless of what phase of adulthood you are in. Older adults, however, typically benefit more from the added effort placed in setting a relaxed and sexy mood prior to lovemaking. There are many ways to accomplish this. Taking baths together, having a romantic meal at home (try this in the nude for added spice), even sharing stories of how you met and became attracted to each other. All these can aid in guiding you effortlessly into sexual activity. Once these efforts have been made, the sex itself should be a more gratifying and well-rounded experience for you both.

Tip # 5: Increase Stimulation

As we know, older men take longer to achieve an erection as they age. Once they have gained one, it often is not as strong as it once was. This is caused by less rapid blood flow. Older women experience a similar effect: decreased sensitivity in the clitoral area. This, too, is caused by less blood flow to that region. Decreased sensitivity equals less pleasure. In both cases, more stimulation of the genital area may be required. If manual or oral stimulation is not sufficient, other methods can be used. Try incorporating a vibrator into your lovemaking sessions. There are many versions on the market, and not all are penis-shaped. Some are small enough to fit in the palm of your hand, and work quite nicely to stimulate specific smaller erogenous zones like the clitoris, the perineum, and the entrance to the anus.

Tip # 6: Finding A Partner

If you find that you are single in your older years, you may think that your sex life is over. Think again. More and more of us are living longer and better. That means there are more people your age living vital lives than ever before. Just as it is when we first started out in the world of sexuality, attitude is everything. Being the best person you can be, getting out there and active, will increase you chances of meeting a new partner. Whatever your interests are, start attending cultural outings or lectures where you’re likely to find older adults. You may even wish to start your own group. Getting older doesn’t mean having to give up a healthy sex life; you just have to keep your heart and mind open to all opportunities.

Tip # 7: Advanced Thinking

Unfortunately, American society holds many negative stereotypes about aging and the efficacy of older adults. Unconsciously, these messages may cause older individuals to wonder whether they are being frivolous for wanting to continue having sex or holding onto a sex drive in the first place. Perhaps they think they should have somehow outgrown it. This is nonsense. Physiologically speaking, there is no indication that sex drive has to decrease as we age. In fact, older adults have years of knowledge and experience. In fact, it would make more sense if younger adults were to seek advice from their elders. Try to keep positive attitudes and ideas like these in mind. There is no expiration date for desire, so enjoy it!

Tip # 8: Getting Help

There are occasions when older adults will need special assistance in their sex lives. Sometimes the assistance is the use of a simple tool, like a vibrator, to help a partner achieve arousal in situations where their partner may have arthritis pain and is unable to stimulate his/her partner manually. On other occasions, the assistance needed is psychological. When older men, for example, experience impotence, it is often not due to aging, but rather medications illness, or psychological problems such as depression. While it is normal for any man to have problems getting an erection during sexual activity every once in a while, older men are more prone to it and over time this may cause anxiety. In turn, this anxiety can increase and negatively affect his entire sex drive. Seeking professional psychological assistance could help overcome this sexual problem or others like it.

Tip # 9: Timing is Everything

For older adults, more time may be needed to achieve full sexual arousal. Older men generally take longer to achieve an erection and the penis may be less rigid. On the other hand, they are less likely to ejaculate prematurely. Older women, too, typically require more time to allow for sufficient lubrication. Even if an artificial lubricant is being used, she still deserves the time to get aroused mentally. This can be a blessing! Taking more time to tend to you and your partner’s sexual needs is a great way to prolong intimacy, and even each new heights of pleasure you didn’t in earlier years. Try making love in the morning, after a good night's sleep. Not only is it a nice way to start the day, older men are more likely to have a firm erection in the morning.

Tip # 10: Beyond Intercourse

For some older couples sexual intercourse with penetration may not be possible. This can be due to physical restrictions or disease, among other causes. This does not mean, however, that you and your partner must give up a healthy sexual lifestyle. In fact, a lesson every adult should learn is that sex does not have to be all about intercourse. Sexual intimacy with your partner can be expressed in a number of ways. You may wish to explore mutual masturbation, sensual massage, oral sex, or shared fantasies. Keeping your sex life healthy just requires a little imagination and desire to please your partner.

Photo By: Better Sex