Sexual weaponry: The Warning Signs

dynamic, fertility, fight, human behavior, human interest, human sexual behavior, human sexuality, intimacy, marriage, personal life, relationship, self, sex, sex life, sexual, sexual acts, sexual intercourse, sexual techniques, warning signs, watches, weapon, weaponry, weapons - By Rebecca Sinclair on Monday, August 16, 2010 - 13:17

Many people use sex as a weapon both knowingly and unknowingly. Using intimacy like this can drive a wedge into your relationship that can be very, very difficult to remove.

Wonder if this fits you or your partner? Here are some warning signs.

1.    Withholding sex as a punishment. If you give your partner a timeout from sex like you would ground a child from a toy, you are using sex as a weapon. Sex is designed to bring two people together, not to tear them apart.

2.    Past indiscretions. If you continue to bring up sexual missteps from your lover’s past, sex has become a weapon. Whether the past problems were with you or another lover, the best place to leave to past is in the past.

3.    Heat of battle. When a fight gets ugly and you start putting down your partner’s sexual techniques or body, you are using sex as weapon. Learn to fight clean and walk away.

4.    Making sex a chore. If sex has become a chore on your to-do list, your lack of enthusiasm can actually be taken as a sexual weapon that is constantly beating down your partner. You need to learn some steps to get back into enjoying your sex life.

    If you see your relationship in any of these scenarios, you are headed down the path of destruction. Using sex against your partner in any form hurts the intimacy and trust level of a relationship. Losing that closeness can quickly put you on the path to separation.

    Over the next several days, we will look at each of these methods of using sex as a weapon and discover healthier ways of dealing with each situation.

    Until then… let’s get the conversation started. Do you see yourself or your partner using sex as a weapon in your relationship? Have you ever been in a relationship like this or witnessed it in a friend’s relationship? We would love to hear your stories.