Sexual Submission - an short introduction

Published by Rebecca Sinclair on June 21st, 2010

bdsm, bottom, dominance, dominance and submission, dominance submission, getting started, human sexuality, introduction, introductions, limited, limits, partner, play, sadomasochism, safeword, setting limits, sex life, sexual, submission, top, top and bottom - By Rebecca Sinclair on Monday, June 21, 2010 - 10:45

The idea of dominating or being submissive is a real turn-on for some couples. Here are some tips to get you started.

  1. Set limits. If you or your partner is completely unwilling to do something, communicate your limits before you get started. Those limits must be respected. Limits can be anything from no tickling to no slapping to no name calling to no punching. If there is something you are not interested in, you have to communicate it. Your partner cannot read your mind, and they may go too far (or not far enough) if you expect them to guess at your limits.
  2. Have a safe word. A safe word is the predetermined word that means, “STOP now.” If the safe word is used, the partner must stop the act immediately.
  3. Trade roles. While many people prefer one of the two roles more, couples should vary their submission play. Doing so gets both partners out of their comfort zone and beyond the limits of their natural personality. You may just unleash a tiger!
  4. Start mild. If you are new to submission, consider using household objects for restraints. Once you know that both partners enjoy it, some high quality restraints such as the Under-the-Bed System or some cuffs, ties, or swings may add some additional variety.
  5. Watch a movie. The best submission movie I have seen is Penny Flame’s Guide to Rough Sex. This educational movie takes you through the process of setting limits and gets the conversation started.

Like everything in a long-term relationship, the key to great submission play is communication. Talk first, talk during, and talk after. Be specific about what you liked, what you loved, and what you did not care for. With continued communication, you and your partner learn more about each other’s turn ons and turn offs so you can continue to make sex more pleasurable. What about you? Do you like submission play? Have you had a good or bad experience you would like to share? I would love to hear from you. Photo from: Midori's Expert Guide To Sensual Bondage

HS Sweetheart's picture
Hot, Hot, Hot!
Submitted by HS Sweetheart on Mon, 2010-08-09 09:39.

Love the idea of sexual submission. We take turns and we both love it! As long as you are in a committed, loving relationship... submission can lead to some GREAT sexual experiences.

the playful couple's picture
Communication is key!
Submitted by the playful couple on Wed, 2010-08-04 22:13.

We Wholeheartedly agree!  Without vocalizing your limitations, your lover has no idea what's hot and what's not for you.  Express your boundaries and they likely won't be crossed.  Power play is fantastic, regardless who holds it.  It can grant some of the most thrilling and most sexually gratifying experiences of your life.  We love to trade roles.  As far as tools, as specified, the under the bed restraint system works fantastically.  We also loved the Sportsheets Restraint Sheets.  They allow you to customize the cuff arrangement and place wrists and ankles wherever you want to on the bed.  Ours stays on the bed underneath our regular sheets...  You never know.  Follow this link to the sheets.  http://www.bettersex.com/sex-toys/bedroom-accessories/sp-sportsheets-restraint-sheets-king-1213.aspx

Anonymous's picture
I have to admit that sexual
Submitted by Anonymous on Tue, 2010-08-03 00:43.

I have to admit that sexual submission turns me on...I like being pinned down and made love too savagely I wish I had a man that was willing to give me that kind of pleasure but my husband isn't that kind of man.