If you're like us (a guy), thinking about oral sex may consume a good portion of your day. However, turning the blowjob fantasy into an oral reality can sometimes be a tricky negotiation. The purpose of this article is to help everyone out there who is thinking about, or would like to, have better oral sex. We know this is a large group because we receive questions about oral sex virtually everyday. We've organized our oral revolution article into an excerpt for the BetterSex.com Sexuality Dictionary, a brief history of oral sex and a few tips and techniques. Be sure to share your oral sex tips and advice by emailing firstname.lastname@example.org.
Before launching headlong, so to speak, into a discussion about oral sex let’s review a few key terms so we are all on the same page:
The term cunnilingus comes from an alternative Latin word for vulva (external female genitals), cunnus, and from the Latin word for licking, lingere.
The term fellatio comes from the latin Fellare means to suck. Common slang terms include blowjob (even though there is usually no blowing invlolved) and sucking off.
It's hard to know exactly who were the first humans to practice oral sex, but it is a pretty safe bet that oral sex has been around since our ancestors were huddled in caves. Animals can autofellate, the term for what is also known as "self-sucking," so maybe we picked it up from them.
) may have the most concise history: "Considering its current popularity as well as its depth in recorded history, oral sex is thought by many to have been a part of prehistorical human sexuality. Hence, some theorize that its origins are biological, and not simply carnal. A study published in the British Journal of Medicine showed a correlation between oral sex and healthier newborn children. Semen, when ingested orally, was thought to familiarize the female immune system with the male DNA, lowering the risk that male genes would be rejected, and thus reducing the risk of birth defects. One hypothesis points to the possibility that the apparent connection may be a biological evolutionary trait, which favors reproduction among couples who have more long-term and intimate relationships than others."
The Kama Sutra, written between the 1st and 6th century BC by Vatsyayna Mallanaga gives the first in depth look at oral sex. In the Kama Sutra, Vatsyayana says , "it (fellatio) should not be done because it is opposed to the moral code."
Vatsyayna waffled soon after writing these words. Maybe Vatsyayna understood that ancient Indian men enjoy oral sex as much as men do today. After condemning oral sex, Vatsyayna provides elaborate instructions to women on how to perform what the Kama Sutra calls "sucking the mango." You say potato, I say patato and Vatsyayna says sucking the mango. Whatever your call it, oral sex has a long if unrecorded history. Let's return to the now and discuss five quick tips for better oral sex.
Safe oral sex is important. You can purchase condoms
from Bettersex.com, our best seller is our sampler pack , or your local drug store. Despite what a recent President said, oral sex is sex and should be practiced safely to avoid transmission of STD's.
Talking about sex is something sex therapist
, educators and Cosmo all recommend. We understand that it is not easy to discuss sex. We have three sex communication rules:
Listening may be the lost art. If your partner begins a difficult conversation with you, lean in to it. Listen carefully and Do Not Judge. Be careful with your non-verbal communication. Be neutral and supportive. Again, do not judge either with your words or signals and listen carefully.
You can’t get what you want unless you tell your partner. This may seem daunting and you may not get there on your first try. Our suggestion is to ask your partner to repeat back to you what they heard. This will help you know if your message was received.
You won’t discover new things and move your relationship forward unless you are open to experimentation. Remember not to be judgmental especially when your partner brings up something new.
Following these three sex communication rules when you discuss oral sex tonight and we bet you have a better experience tomorrow.
Gentle slow and steady wins the oral race. The genitals are very sensitive. The male and female genitals have a tremendous number of nerves and blood vessels making them some of the most sensitive areas of the human body. Be gentle, go slow and apply steady pressure that picks up speed and intensity as excitement builds.
Fellatio: The most sensitive part of a man's penis is the glans, the tip of the penis. Swirl your tongue around the head and glans of the penis and stroke up and down on the penis at the same time to drive your man wild. Don't forget about the anus, another highly sensitive erogenous zone.
Cunnilingus: Teasing is always a good start for cunnilingus. You may want to start a long way from your partner's vagina and work you way up or down teasing as you go. Once she can't stand it any longer, you may start at the bottom of her vagina and lick all the way to the top, this is where the clitoris or clit is located. A woman's clitoris is highly sensitive and instrumental in orgasm. When you get to the top, lick around the outside of her vaginal lips and slowly unfold them with your tongue.
Try writing the alphabet with your tongue on her clit or vagina. Add a finger or two while licking her clit. There are about as many ways to perform great cunnilingus as there are people, so we won't try to chronicle them all here. Remember to tease, be gentle and go slow and steady until it is time to go fast and hard. When in doubt ask.
Ice can be very hot. You may try adding ice either directly on your partner's genitals, or by having a piece of ice in between your cheek and gum while going down on your partner. The reverse is also true. You can also try a hot beverage like tea or hot chocolate right before going down. The temperature differences just might blow your partner's, um, mind.
A typical ejaculate is about one teaspoon. Each teaspoon of ejaculate has about 5 - 7 calories and some 200 - 500 million sperm, but only makes up about 1% of semen. The other 99% is made up of fructose sugar, water, ascorbic acid (a.k.a., vitamin C), citric acid, enzymes, protein, phosphate and bicarbonate buffers (bases), and zinc.
Swallowing won't ruin your diet. If it is taste you are worried about, tell your man to cut out the red meat and caffeine from his diet for a couple of days. This could change his flavor. Ultimately the choice to swallow or not is your partner's. Some enjoy swallowing, some don't.