12 Oral Sex Tips For Him

feature 1 - By Better Sex on Tuesday, July 13, 2010 - 16:08

Every woman is different all the time. Her anatomy, personality, and physiological response to oral stimulation won’t be the same as someone else and could change depending on her mood or environment. Oral sex for her and oral sex for you may be two distinct experiences; the important thing is to make those experiences pleasurable for both of you

Define Pleasure as Your Oral Sex Goal

Try not to think of her clitoris as a bulls-eye target you need to get to as fast as possible. Men can be goal oriented, so either suspend normal “get to the goal line” thinking or make pleasure for her and you the primary goal.

Tease, Explore, and Be Sensitive

The more aroused a woman becomes, the more sensitive she is to touch. By gently stroking and kissing the skin on her stomach, thighs, behind the knees, and ankles, you’ll send subtle yet sensuous messages about your intentions. Spend enough time on her non-genital erogenous zones to warm and tingle her senses, but not so much time she thinks you’ve gotten lost.

Match Your Rhythm to Her Rhythm

Every oral sex encounter has its own rhythm. We can’t tell you to go slow or fast because there is no rule that will work every time other than matching your rhythm to hers. Even this rule can be misleading since your excitement may make her excited. Good rule of thumb is to go slow (Westerners tend to rush lovemaking) and try not to be more than a little bit more excited than she is. ented, so either suspend normal “get to the goal line” thinking or make pleasure for her and you the primary goal.

Know Your Partner

Attitudes about oral sex for women have a lot to do with upbringing, societal myths, and confidence. Being sensitive to her oral sex insecurities will promote the kind of “safe” environment where your partner can let herself go and relax. Even confident women appreciate soft lighting (if any) and a nice, comfortable oral sex position such as one in which her legs are spread apart and relaxed.

Patience Is a Virtue

She can tell if you’re in a hurry for her to reach climax. She will know if you’re just “taking one for the team” and trying to attain the goal of her orgasm. Quickness in order to get to your sexual satisfaction can be felt, may be resented, and will probably make it harder to truly enjoy oral sex (for both of you). Experiment with different “slow down” techniques. Nibble, suck, bite playfully and lick her feet, calves, thighs, breasts, and stomach. Say hello to her genitals, but don’t settle in until she becomes insistent. Don’t tease her too much! Playful teasing enhances oral sex for her, but torturous teasing is a turn-off.

Gentle Genitals

When she insists you focus your oral attention, continue to experiment and play. Cover her vagina with your entire mouth and then pull back, lightly tugging on her clitoris. Alternate your tongue with pads of your thumbs and occasionally slip your fingers inside her vagina. Curve your fingers upwards in what is commonly called a “come hither” motion to stimulate her G-spot. Reach up and squeeze her nipples. Stay alert. Don’t get totally lost in your act of oral stimulation. She may not feel comfortable or able to verbalize in words what she wants and needs. Watch for clues. Is she shifting around? She could be squirming with passion, or she’s just uncomfortable. Is she tugging at the blankets? She might be clutching her way to the edge of a climax, or maybe she’s cold. Never assume too much. When in doubt, ask.

Ask for Directions

Men are not good at asking for directions. There is no GPS for your partner’s sexual stimulation, so asking her for directions or following the non-verbal clues she provides is VERY important. Don’t be shy about asking what she likes and/or dislikes. Too hard? Too soft? Women are different all the time. Directions need to be updated and checked. How you got there yesterday may only get you lost today. Hormones and medication can affect a woman’s ability to climax. Including a vibrator in your oral sex techniques may be a welcome addition. The combined sensations of tongue, fingers, and a blast of intense vibration may be just what she needs (and wants!) to reach blissful climax. Oral sex for women starts as an intense experience, so using a vibrator the size of your arm is not recommended! A small, finger-tip vibrator or vibrating “bullet” may be all you need. BetterSex.com has many oral sex toys. Find our oral sex toy recommendation by typing “oral sex toys” into the BetterSex.com search box. And don’t forget about our oral sex kits. We include our adult sex education DVDs with our best selling oral sex toys to help you learn how to give and receive great oral sex.

Ask for Directions

Men are not good at asking for directions. There is no GPS for your partner’s sexual stimulation, so asking her for directions or following the non-verbal clues she provides is VERY important. Don’t be shy about asking what she likes and/or dislikes. Too hard? Too soft? Women are different all the time. Directions need to be updated and checked. How you got there yesterday may only get you lost today. Hormones and medication can affect a woman’s ability to climax. Including a vibrator in your oral sex techniques may be a welcome addition. The combined sensations of tongue, fingers, and a blast of intense vibration may be just what she needs (and wants!) to reach blissful climax. Oral sex for women starts as an intense experience, so using a vibrator the size of your arm is not recommended! A small, finger-tip vibrator or vibrating “bullet” may be all you need. BetterSex.com has many oral sex toys. Find our oral sex toy recommendation by typing “oral sex toys” into the BetterSex.com search box. And don’t forget about our oral sex kits. We include our adult sex education DVDs with our best selling oral sex toys to help you learn how to give and receive great oral sex.

Be Confident

Performing oral sex on a woman shouldn’t be scary or intimidating. Don’t worry about “performance.” Remain sensitive to what she’s experiencing and you can’t go wrong. Not sure? We have many oral sex resources including our Art of Oral Sex DVD to help you understand the intricacies of oral sex. If you’re completely new to performing oral sex on women, take time to research female anatomy. There’s a whole world of deep pleasure to explore, so take your time and treat oral sex like the exploratory adventure it is. Explore Female Anatomy Here

Learn New Advanced Oral Sex Tricks

Remember, there’s no rush. Take a break. Come up for air. Massage her thighs. Lightly kiss her belly. Look into her eyes for a second or two, and then head south again to provide the ultimate orgasmic release. Add vibration from a sex toy or make everything a slippery mess with a water-based sexual lubricant. Adding a G-spot vibrator may really increase her orgasmic intensity. G-spot vibrators are built with curved necks to emulate the “come hither” motion of your fingers (described above) to reach her G-spot located on the “roof” of her vagina: The G-spot (or Grafenberg spot) is a dime to half-dollar sized area of highly sensitive tissue located roughly three inches into the vagina halfway between the pubic bone and the a woman’s cervix. It is situated on the vagina wall toward the front of a woman’s body. While every woman has a G-spot, not every woman finds G-spot stimulation pleasurable. Many enjoy simultaneous G-spot and clitoral stimulation. They describe the sensation as powerful and say it produces intense orgasms. We suggest a vibrator built for g-spot stimulation if you are providing oral sex to her clitoris. G-spot vibrators have slim necks and a curved bulb to provide stimulation directly to a woman’s G-spot. There are vibrators built for simultaneous clitoral and G-spot stimulation, but they may prove bulky and be a hindrance to your oral sex techniques. Using a G-spot vibrator in combination with your mouth and tongue is an advanced oral sex technique many women will find wildly pleasurable. Many couples report a renewed interest in sexual activity thanks to oral sex. Old dogs can always learn new oral sex tricks, especially those in long-term relationships. Whether you’re new to oral sex or you’re just looking for a way to ratchet up your sexual play, approach oral sex with a new attitude and a few new techniques will change your relationship for the better.

Splish Splash Take an Oral Sex Bath

Water, when used during oral sex, is a great way to promote relaxation and stimulation. Get in the tub or private swimming pool and enjoy the sensual feel of water against the skin and genitals. Bring a squirt gun to the bedroom and surprise her clitoris with bursts of water. Cold or lukewarm water works best—never hot water! Don’t forget to have a thick towel on hand to soak up the excess water

Feed the Desire

Food is a sensual device that can be used to enhance oral sex. Experiment with different textures and shapes. Strawberries from the refrigerator feel as good as they taste when rolled over the skin. Sweeten up oral sex with whipping cream and chocolate sauce! Use a soft feather to lightly dust icing sugar over the vagina. Mmmmm! Now that’s a tasty treat. Bettersex.com offers chocolate products including Body Chocolate and Brush and Kama Sutra Chocolate Souffle Cream. Oral sex for her can be a sweet treat for you too!

Good for Her = Good for You

Focus on giving her the best, most sensual sexual experience she’s ever had and we bet you'll have a good time too. She may reach climax from your oral sex techniques or she may need additional stimulation. Her vulva isn’t the only spot needing tender loving care. Combine stimulating oral sex with strokes, kisses, and caresses to other erogenous zones to produce pleasure she’ll crave over and over again. Oral sex for women should be pleasurable for both partners, and with help from the great products at BetterSex.com, oral sex for women should become a regular activity, not just an occasional experiment.

Photo from: Tristan Taormino's Expert Guide to Oral Sex

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RickStar's picture
Submitted by RickStar on Wed, 2011-11-09 19:30.

i just cant get enough of the 69.. its my fave and it drives me insane !!

SexToyNewb's picture
Submitted by SexToyNewb on Tue, 2010-08-17 22:11.

I naturally use some of these tips already and they work! i am looking forward to giving the others a try, and im sure she will appreciate it. Ive always found that i've done my best work when i go into it not expecting reciprocation. focusing on her pleasure and not worrying about your own, you usually do a better job. great article, looking forward to more!

Beeman's picture
Submitted by Beeman on Tue, 2010-08-17 20:38.

I've always been praised on my oral skills and have given a few women their first orgasm, and I can attest that the information here is definitely top notch. It's all about paying attention and enjoying pleasing her!