Married with Children: What every couple should know about post-pregnancy sex

Published by Better Sex on August 6th, 2010

baby, baby being born, breast, childbirth, childhood, couple, coupling, dynamic, family, fertility, human development, human interest, infancy, infant, know about, married, obstetrics, post pregnancy, post pregnancy sex, pregnancy, sex, sex drive, sex life - By Better Sex on Friday, August 6, 2010 - 15:46

So you made it through pregnancy with your relationship intact and the doctor gives you some unexpected news: no sex for awhile. You may have questions about all the rules. Here are some guidelines to help you in the early stages of "newborn syndrome."
 
1. Six months. Your sex life will not return to its full pre-baby vigor for about 6 months. This has nothing to do with medical necessity but more the complications that come along with having a newborn in the house including sleepless nights, adjusting to the baby's needs, and learning each other's roles on parents.
 
2. Respect the working boobs. Understand that a woman gains a new relationship with her breasts if she is constantly putting them in a baby's mouth. It is not that she is less attracted to you, but rather that her body is working in ways it never has before. Her breasts are heavy, uncomfortable, and leaky. Even if she chose not to breastfeed, the breasts still produce milk for awhile, and the drying up process can be very painful. If she requests that you limit your touching of her breasts, respect her wishes.
 
3. Communication is essential during this life change. Talk to your partner, respect each other's needs and limitations, and know that this time will pass. Focus on being partners and friends and know that the lover role will return with time.
 
4. Hormones still rule. As her body adjusted to its new role, she may find her hormones on a roller coaster again. My husband referred to the post-pregnancy shifts as "Satan's playground." It is important to remember that these dramatic highs and lows will pass. Just like during pregnancy… enjoy the highs and try not to fret the lows too much.
 
5. Obey your doctor. If you have specific questions about sexual limitations based on your pregnancy, labor, and delivery, ask your doctor. The OB is there to help. If you can't ask in person, call the office. It is always better to ask, especially if sex is causing you any discomfort.
 
What about you?
 
What is your experience with post-pregnancy hormones and sex drive? Tell us about it. Comment below.Photo by: gabi menashe

the playful couple's picture
The void does fill, after time...
Submitted by the playful couple on Wed, 2010-08-11 10:49.

We've been down this road twice now. The first time is a little surprising. Neither of us expected our sex life to vanish for so long. We saw a sex therapist, a marriage counselor, and talked to each other at great length. After it was all said and done, things did return to the way they were before the pregnancy. Be patient, communicate your feelings and needs both ways, and above all else, realize that this effects both man and woman very differently.

For us, I found myself feeling very lonely, and she felt exhausted. Our first go round, our relationship suffered greatly. On round two, we were better educated. Hand jobs, playful petting, and more frequent self release bridged the gap a great deal better than continually being shot down on my advances. Hang in there, talk, and be patient, and it does get better.