Married with children: Talking to your man about sex

Published by Rebecca Sinclair on July 9th, 2010

communication, dynamic, husband, list, marriage, married, relationship, sex, wife - By Rebecca Sinclair on Friday, July 9, 2010 - 09:04

Talking to your man about sex can be complicated. Some men do not like talking about anything and some just specifically avoid talking about sensitive issues like making love. Here are my tips and tricks on getting your man to talk:

  1. Respect. Respect is currency to a man. If you show him respect, it builds up his self esteem both inside and outside of the bedroom. While you do not have to give him a standing ovation after a sexual encounter, telling him that “last night was great,” or that you think he is a wonderful provider, husband, or father is showing him much deserved respect.
  2. Timing. When it comes to communication, timing is everything. After a day of meeting or work, attacking him with a list of 13 things he needs to improve in the bedroom is not a good idea. Instead time the talk appropriately and have fun with it.
  3. The talk. Open a bottle of wine and slip on some lingerie for a real hands-on show and tell. Most men WANT to satisfy their partner they just do not always know HOW to. So show him. Never lecture and never put him down. Instead point to that place you like being kissed on your thigh. Tell him, "I like it when you tickle right here, kiss right there, and nibble right there."
  4. Learn your body. Most women do not know their own body well enough to express what works for them to their lover. While some women are shy about masturbation, another alternative is touching yourself while he watches. That alone can be a huge turn-on for him. You need to know how your clit likes to be rubbed in order for him to know. You need to know your own hot spots and hate spots. Then it is time for show and tell again.
  5. No faking. No matter how much it may seem like faking an orgasm is a pat on the back to a man, never, NEVER fake it in a long-term relationship. You are sending mixed signals of what works. Instead, if he finishes before you do, be willing to show him what it takes to finish you off. Use your fingers, a toy, or whatever else you enjoy. Never use this as an attack on his manhood but rather as a compliment to how much he turned you on.

Talking to your man about sex is not as scary as people make it out to be. It just takes some creativity, planning, and mutual respect.

 

Photo By: Catlovers