Marriage: What's your Glue?

It's so secret that I can't even tell you exactly what it is! It's the times when we are exchanging uncertain looks after purchasing way too many pre-filled birthday balloons to fit in our vehicle. It's looks that relay the message that "we both thought it was a good idea at the time..." It's also those looks that instantly set you on fire! We don't blame each other, we respect each other and above all, we love each other with all our hearts! We'd do anything for each other and work together to get through problems. Yes, even if that includes finding a way to weigh down a bunch of helium filled birthday balloons to haul home in the back of a pickup truck! That was a sight! It's helium tanks from now on and we learned that together too.

We have been married for nearly 25 years and have raised three, now young-adult children. Our "glue" has always been to love, respect, and trust each other implicitly and try to put each other's interests second only to God. We have been through more than our share of trials, difficulties and tough times both prior to our marriage and during, but we share an overriding certainty that God brought us together. We frequently hear other couples speak of having to choose between a fulfilling sex life and their Christian faith as if they were opposing sides of a coin. Many are often uncomfortable discussing sex—their likes and dislikes and particularly fantasies—with their spouse, yet have little problem discussing them with friends and co-workers. Their approach to, and handling of, marital sex is a sad indicator of the furtiveness, decadence, iniquity, and immorality they unconsciously associate with sex when they should, instead, be blossoming with celebration and enjoying the amazing gift from God.

Contrary to widespread opinion, marriage and sex are not mutually exclusive and faith does not diminish sexuality, desire, or fulfillment of that desire for each other, but instead gives it a depth and intensity that far exceeds what is possible in any other relationship. We believe that the Bible says that sexual attentions should be a 24/7/365 experience in the same way that we are to maintain a 24/7/365 prayer life.

"Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; And always be enraptured with her love." Proverbs 5:19.

"Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband." 1 Corinthians 7:3.

"Be kindly affectionate one to another with love; in honor preferring one another." Romans 12:10.

This continualness of the sexual relationship implies that sexual attentions are more than intercourse and include thinking erotically about your spouse and staying in sexual contact with phone calls, text messages, kissing, and touching. We believe and live a Bible endorsed robust sex life as the "bond" that sustains our marriage relationship.

C.S. Lewis once wrote, "The reason why we look for fulfillment outside our own marriage is because we have not allowed God to show us the depths of joy and happiness that He can provide in our existing relationship. When we allow ourselves to experience God's plan for marriage, we soon find ourselves in a state of satisfaction and contentment that makes us wonder why anyone would ever consider such a stray thought."

God placed a sanctifying importance on marriage and correspondingly Satan puts forth every effort to destroy it. Most married Christian couples with children have an above average tendency to give work and children their freshest and best energy. The marital relationship gets what's left over and that is NOT enough. Living in the same house, parenting the same children, sleeping in the same bed, and even practicing the same faith is NOT enough. A couple hoping to maintain a healthy marriage over the long haul MUST invest heavily in romance, the little attentions, and an unabashed expression of physical love for each other. God's special gift of sexual relations between marriage partners is, in essence, the defining component of marriage, and it must become a much more principal player in the delicate balancing act we call family relations. That has been our "glue!"

My glue is that I never take our relationship for granted. My husband and I work crazy hours, we do not have any kids yet, but our lives our pretty hectic. I make sure that every ounce of time that we can spend together is romantic, even when we are just watching TV. I may light candles, or dim the lights so we can just relax with each other. Whenever my husband is in the room I may through him a few sexy glances. While he is at work I text him sexy messages. Anything to keep our relationship fun and exciting.