Just Say Hello!

connections, dr yvonne, marriage, meeting new people, meeting the one, relationships, singles - By dryvonne on Tuesday, June 28, 2011 - 10:37

Finally! The person you’ve been longing to meet is there – right in front of you! After months of seeing what else there is to sample at local wine tastings, after weeks of scoping out more than the game at various area sports events, and after nights of prowling the singles’ bar scene, somebody you actually fancy at first glance is there, ready to meet. So what are you doing getting cold feet??

All too often, singles will spot somebody who seems like their type or totally fall for lust at first sight, only to do absolutely nothing about it. Sometimes, it’s their stubborn, “I’m ridiculously important and can’t be bothered” ego getting in the way. Other times, it’s concern that the “I’m busy and need to get somewhere” energy the person is projecting means flirts had better just stay away.

Then, for some gals, their lack of effort stems from the old-fashioned notion that guys should always make the first move. Yet for many men and women, missed opportunities are largely a matter of getting tongue-tied. They simply don’t know what to say.

The smile-inducing, cheesy, “What’s your sign?” pick up lines are out of the question. Admitting that you like what you see feels like you’re coming on too strong, inviting the ‘who does that?’ unless they’re crazy response. Any “can I get your number?” attempts come across as a bit stalker’ish in wanting very private information all too soon.

So what can you say the next time you’re checking someone out in your parking lot, at the grocery store, at the gym, or your favorite coffee shop, or simply walking down the street?

Different situations do call for different strategies. So, depending on your circumstances, here are some tips:

• In general, find a connection to something the person is reading, carrying, or wearing, e.g., a t-shirt with a college or destination resort practically begs for conversation.

• If at a restaurant, market, or grocery store, ask for the person’s opinion about a product or menu item you’re thinking about buying, e.g., “Tell me, have you ever tried the...? Is it good?”

• On the street, ask for directions, then keep the conversation going by asking if s/he is from the area.

• Anywhere… Make comment on something that is a common experience at the moment, like the hot weather or the place being crowded.

• Anytime… Give a sincere compliment about something the person is doing well, e.g., “I have to tell you - you have really good form when you swim.”

Sure, these aren’t as direct as “Do you believe in love at first sight or do I have to walk by again?”, which leaves no doubt that you’re interested. But that’s the beauty of these approaches - they’re safe, non-threatening, and don’t warrant sexual harassment charges.

Plus, they project you as a relaxed, confident, friendly person, which can be just as easily done in saying “hello.” That’s right, one magazine poll found that this simple greeting works in meeting someone 71% of the time for attracting a man’s attention and 100% of the time in engaging a woman.

In making it even all the more effective, just remember to smile, and even wink, when you say it.

Author: Dr. Yvonne K. Fulbright PhD.

Photo By: Better Sex