Breaking News: Women Enjoy Casual Sex

sex, sexual, women - By Better Sex on Thursday, May 6, 2010 - 10:59

Why is it that a woman who likes casual sex is referred to as "having sex like a man?" That very question bothered Jocelyn Wentland, a PhD student in the Family Relations and Human Development at Guelph University. "Even with all of the changes to stereotypes, as a society we continue to view sexual behaviour as belonging to either a man or a woman," complained Wentland. "Sexual behaviour that doesn’t fit nicely into [the expected behaviour of either gender] gets viewed as out of the norm. So women who don’t act like the nice girl who only has sex in the context of a committed relationship get pegged as acting like a man."

Much of the research on women and sex tends to focus on "sexual dysfunction." There's very little research, says Wentland, on women who actually like sex, and what little there is, is hopelessly out of date and doesn't reflect what's actually going on out there. So she decided to do her own research.

Over 1,500 women (with 1/2 between 20 and 30 years old) responded to her survey online. The topic was female sexual pleasure, and the results were refreshing. Despite common stereotypes that you practically need a degree in aeronautics to unlock the mysteries of female sexual arousal, 88.4 percent of Wentland’s participants said they are easily sexually aroused.

Men are not the only ones with sex constantly on the brain? Roughly three-quarters of the women said they "like to have sex once a day." Over 80% "really enjoy masturbating to orgasm" and over 90% said they don't feel guilty about it afterward.

What about the idea that women aren’t sexually assertive? Over 90% said they are comfortable initiating sex with a partner, 70% enjoy "touching myself during sex" and almost 70% say they're "the type of person who insists on having my sexual needs met."

Another common myth Wentland happily debunked is that women who have a lot of sex partners are usually presumed to have low self-esteem and/or low social skills. "I think that this is totally off base," she responds. "It's often the women who are very confident, sure of themselves, and have high social skills, who are capable of engaging in sexual activity outside of a relationship and be perfectly OK with this because they are able to separate the sex from the emotions."

Wentland also came up with some startling results regarding casual sex and women. "There is this ongoing belief that any type of a casual relationship must be a one-night-stand [in part because] we don’t have accurate numbers on the types of casual relationships that women are having," explains Wentland. "Of the women who are casually dating and did not identify that their last sex partner was a committed partner – almost 32% have a regular casual sex partner, 42% a fuck buddy or friend with benefits, nine% a booty call, and 17% had had a one-night-stand.” Obviously, women engage in a variety of casual relationships, often with a regular partner. "Maybe women are finally admitting that they do what has only been acceptable for men to do in the past," comments Wentland.

Wentland’s results paint a strong picture of a sexually confident women who know what they want and are comfortable with their sexuality, she admits that because she purposely posted the survey in places where it would be found by women who are more interested in and open to their sexuality. Her findings aren’t necessarily reflective of the average woman. But that was kind of the point. Wentland wanted to hear from women who challenge the female stereotype.

According to some of her respondents, it was about time. "It is so refreshing to see someone doing scientific research on this topic," wrote one 24-year-old participant. "[…] Pleasure of a sexual nature is a biological function that we were built to have and I'm glad you are referring to it as ‘sexual pleasure' and not the historical ‘promiscuity.'"

"Thanks for doing it," wrote another, 23. "[…] Hopefully women like myself will be able to better accept the notion that sex is allowed to be pleasurable and should be!"