4 Tips To Help You Get What You Want Out Of Sex

Published by Rebecca Sinclair on September 3rd, 2010

communication, couple, couples, dynamic, relationship, sex, talk, tips, tricks - By Rebecca Sinclair on Friday, September 3, 2010 - 14:52

In any relationship, communication is essential for longevity. The question sometimes becomes how to communicate about sexual likes and dislikes. If you know what you want but not how to get it, consider complimenting your way to success. Here are some examples.

  • Foreplay. If you want more foreplay but your partner is ready for action, rather than telling him to slow down, compliment the way he kisses, tell him that you like the caress, or let him know how great the cuddles feel. This type of positive communication goes much further than telling him that he is doing it wrong.
  • Positions. If you want your partner to experiment with a new position, rather than saying you are bored, consider telling her that you like looking at a particular body part and that a new angle on that would be appealing.
  • Kissing. If you do not care for the way your partner kisses, consider having a kiss buffet to introduce him to more types of kisses. Start with a peck, add a little open mouth, throw in some tongue, and along the way make it fun. Giggle with what you like and gently pull back and request more play time if he gets too aggressive. Moans, groans, and coos go a long way in communicating your approval.
  • Toys. If you want to add toys to your sex play without making your partner feel like they are not “doing it right,” add them playfully. Compliment the way he touches your breasts and tell him you want to experience that and the toy at the same time. Or add a simple clit vibrator during intercourse and express your interest in feeling both sensations simultaneously. Your partner should never feel threatened by a toy in the bedroom. It should add to the lovemaking without replacing the lover.

One of the biggest turnoffs for both men and women is to feel like they are not good enough in the bedroom. Change is good, but only if it does not come with a loss of self image for your partner. Compliments are essential in getting what you want out of sex without hurting your partner. Always accentuate the positive!

Photo by: Tania Saiz