The 4 Steps To Making Love

Published by Rebecca Sinclair on August 11th, 2010

bondage, love, sex - By Rebecca Sinclair on Wednesday, August 11, 2010 - 16:54

If you have found yourself the rut of settling for sex rather than really making love, here are some tips and tricks to move you back in the right direction.

  1. Think about it. When we plan for lovemaking, we tend to be more romantic, more thoughtful, and more generous. If you will schedule time and make your passion as important as your email, your TV shows, and your food… you will both reap the benefits of the effort.
  2. Foreplay. When most people think about foreplay, their mind goes to the kisses, caresses, and touches in the bedroom. Foreplay can start long before that though. Foreplay can start with a note in the car, a rose purchased on the way home from work, a kiss on the neck while dinner is being prepared, a 2 minute kiss when you first get home, or a text in the middle of the day. Make foreplay an extended event. The more the that sexual desire builds during the day, the better the passion that night.
  3. Try something new. Having sex with the same partner, in the same room, at the same time, and in the same position can get boring. Add something new. Buy a toy, a movie, a game, or a sexy outfit. Consider trying something new like bondage, Kama Sutra, or erotic massage. Move to a new location. Make love in the middle of the night. Newness adds zest!
  4. No excuses. It is so easy to put lovemaking on the back burner, but a healthy relationship cannot allow it to stay there. Talk about the issues. Perhaps one partner is tired of the same ‘ol routine, but it may also be something beyond that like ED, hormonal imbalance, or depression. Communication is essential. And if there is a bigger issue that needs to be dealt with, go see a doctor in that arena. Your sex life IS worth it.

Have you ever been in a sexual rut? How did you overcome it? Tell us about it. We would love to hear your tips, tricks, and stories.

Tags: bondage, love, sex
Clearance and Candy's picture
Try anything NEW!
Submitted by Clearance and Candy on Wed, 2010-09-08 17:51.

We started with a small issue with ED and medication and WOW because I cared enough to try something new while waiting for a Dr's appointment we have the best sex life ever. We started with a cock ring and some Better Sex Ed DVD's. Now sex is so much more fun and rewarding. The Sex Ed DVD's really helped us to talk about sex, sex issues, sex needs, sex desires and just having fun with sex. We schedule sex, and our meeting usually run late.

SexToyNewb's picture
good advice
Submitted by SexToyNewb on Tue, 2010-08-17 22:25.

i think these tips are a great start. There have been a few times my girlfriend and i think we are in a rut - we go out, drink, come back, have drunk sex, and thats it. We sat down and decided we needed a change, turn sex back into making love. so we planned it out by setting up a date. we used txt messaging to set the mood throughout the day, got all dressed up, and went out for a fancy dinner. We then came home, lit some candles in the bedroom, give each other massages and proceeded to take it from there. it was amazing, a great way to reconnect! we have kept up with having a dinner date at least once every other week and really focus on each other and connecting rather than the sex. We've also done the trying new things, we both love it and always look forward to trying new things! we love getting new toys from bettersex.com and trying them out. its great being with someone thats as interested in new things as i am!

the playful couple's picture
I gambled...
Submitted by the playful couple on Wed, 2010-08-18 12:25.

I don't recommend that anyone take this route as a certainty. I chose to roll the dice. I wanted to experiment with toys as such, but every time I thought I had enough courage to open up my darkside to my wife, my nerves got the better of me. So, I ordered some stuff from bettersex, and selected the shipping method that would garuntee it's arrival on a day she would be home to sign for it. I knew that this would be the only way I could personally man up and ask for what I wanted. Luckily, she was receptive when I told her to expect a care package the night before it arrived. We haven't fully gone the extent in which I wanted to go, but we're getting there. Since, she's opened up as well. Just like when we were young and dating, sex has become exploratory and fun again. Now, I pretty much tell everyone I know to ask for what they want. What is the worst that could happen, really? Your partner says no... If the answer is no, the realm of possibility can still open up for more creative, and fulfilling sexual experiences. As long as the lines of communication have been opened up, the sex will likely get hotter again. She likes to make love her way, and I like to go mine. So, now we have me nights, and her nights. When they mix, and we have an US night, making love doesn't even accurately describe what we do.

Mr. Boombastic's picture
Better Sex educational videos
Submitted by Mr. Boombastic on Wed, 2010-08-11 20:01.

Watching the Better Sex educational videos together has been alot of fun. If anything, its a great stepping stone to porn. They really get you talking about what you like, and what you don't like in a very open atmosphere.