How To Convince Her to Have Anal Sex

by Better Sex Blog Squad

The Better Sex Guide to Anal Sex

The Better Sex Guide to Anal Sex

Many guys are interested in having anal sex with their partners, but oftentimes, a woman just isn’t keen to the idea. How can you convince her how to have anal sex with you? Here are some tricks you can use to get her to try anal sex with you:

  1. Talk it out. Most women are terrified of having anal sex. They have a nagging worry that their partner or other people (if they find out) will think they are dirty. Also, they don’t want their partner to go hurt them. By talking about it beforehand and assuring them that you will both go slow to make sure everyone is comfortable throughout the process, you can have anal sex that is pleasurable and even orgasmic for both partners!
  2. Some women try anal sex once and swear to never do it again. Typically, the first attempt can be painful – similar to traditional sex. If your female partner has had a bad experience, you will have to work harder to convince her to try it again. Start with lots of conversation and show how concerned you are for her to be comfortable throughout the process. Over time, you can convince her that anal sex could be a fun activity for both of you.
  3. Get her in the mood. Pick a place and time where you both will be relaxed throughout the entire experience. Try to turn her on as much as possible beforehand so she will be less tight in her anus, which can make the process more painful.
  4. Start with foreplay. The anus has thousands of nerve endings and can be an incredible orgasm experience for both partners. But just as you wouldn’t start having sex right away without foreplay, you should have foreplay before anal sex.
  5. Sex toys can be a great way to introduce her to anal sex. Using smaller anal stimulators can be a smart way to help her to relax. Anal sex toys can be replaced with your penis in the future, but for now, they can be a fun way to get used to a new idea.
  6. Use lube! Unlike the vagina, there is no natural lubricant during anal play. Always purchase superior anal lubrication, combined with a condom for safe sex, to make an easier entrance.

Anal can be a great thing to add to your sex life together. Talk with her about it and purchase sex education DVDs on anal sex and anal sex toys to turn both of you on today!

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

OFM June 10, 2010 at 12:35 am

A few thoughts on this article….

The article kind of alluded to this, but one thing I would emphasize is, don’t just dive in.

Start off by teasing back there first — either as a conversation starter or after you’ve talked about it and decided you are going exploring in the Greek islands. And no matter how excited you are and how much you want to, go slowly at first. Pay attention to what her body is telling you.

Next, something that may help to move the discussion forward is to ask her for a prostate massage. Hey, if you are willing to open the back door, she may be more likely to think about it as well.

Finally, you have to help her feel secure about the cleanliness aspect of everything and let her know that she doesn’t gross you out.


Better Sex June 10, 2010 at 10:42 am

OFM – You’re right. As with most things in a relationship, communication and understanding is the key.


Christine Fawley, PleasureMechanics July 2, 2010 at 11:26 am

When it comes to anal penetration, for men OR women, there is no “convincing” – only seduction. The body has to be craving anal penetration long before it is ever introduced. With skillful external touch, you can coax your lover’s body into relaxing and craving deeper touch. While conversation and verbal communication is essential, the internal anal sphincter is not under voluntary control – meaning we can’t will ourselves into opening to anal penetration. The body must relax and open, and the only way to achieve this pleasurable relaxation is through skillful, slow and arousing external touch.

We developed our video guide on Anal Play for Women to teach women and their partners how to touch the anus for maximum pleasure and a smooth, graceful entry. Anal play – including penetration – can be 100% pleasurable, 100% of the time. There never needs to be a single moment of discomfort and pain. If you begin with that premise and don’t rush towards penetration, your lover’s body with trust your touch and grant you access!


J Miles May 5, 2012 at 8:35 am

First time when I asked my lady to receive it up her ass, she slapped the sh*t out of me. Yeah, I guess it sounds funny, but I really wanted to try anal sex and she was totally against it. Then I was searching Google like you guys and I hit on this book called Jack’s Anal Persuasion. My God, that was the best thing that I could read in whole universe. Seriously, now me and my girlfriend (same one who slapped me) are only doing anal sex. Now, she adores anal sex. You should give it a try, I’m pretty sure it can help you too!


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